Monday, July 13, 2009

Inbox

I decided to be a mature adult about mine and consult a certain person about me posting their tat on my blogspot. The only reason I didn’t want to ask them is because I knew how thoughtless they would be. I say this because I want more than for them to answer me with a yay or nay. What about “how are you” or “I miss you” or a “why haven’t I heard from you”??? Everything within me wants to let go but from my end there will always be a link that ties us together. I wish he could see and understand my hurt, but at the same time I feel like he is that heartless (like the Kanye West song) to not give a damn about me nor my feelings. I just don’t understand why we are not the friends that I want us to be. I’m not asking to sleep with him nor be friends with benefits, but why can’t he be that buddy “I can call on and kick it with”? Like I have stated time and time before…. I feel like he never cared for me nor about me and I was just time to pass for him until something else came along that was better and more entertaining for him. A lot of questions roam through my mind, but why ask them when they will never get answered. Apart of me wishes he was reading this and understood where I was coming from, but then again he may laugh it off and add it to his book of broken hearts. I want him to care for me as much as I do him, and considering the road blocks that have been built he is unable to do that but I want to hear that from him and not generate my own thought. I want to just hug him, talk to him, and then depart on a bitter sweet moment and the bitter part is knowing we could never be right now or maybe not even the future. As the mind continues to wonder I must bring it to a hault and focus on me and what’s best for my life WITHOUT HIM
-The Journey

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